How Old Would You be if You Didn't Know How Old You Were?

How Old Would You be if You Didn't Know How Old You Were?

"What a silly question," I thought to myself.

Then I paused for a moment of reflection.

Today, I celebrated my birth.  It is not a milestone year like 16 or 18 or 21 or 50. I celebrated with flowers and tiramisu and a mini photoshoot courtesy of my brother

Fabulous, I know. Fashion blog material?

According to Western culture, I am 17, because I made the arduous journey down the birth canal 17 years ago to the day. 

I don't always feel 17. Sometimes I feel like a 60 year old British citizen, reliving my youth by watching Monty Python's Flying Circus. I can't decide which I love more: the satire, the wordplay, or the cross-dressing. Sometimes I feel like a 8 year old with excessively vigilant parents. Sometimes I feel like a 23 year old, independent and assertive. I am happy watching a documentary film or a Disney film. I feel many ages.

That does not answer the question. If age was not used as the standard of competence, where would I be in life today? I think I would be in one of two situations.

I would be lost in a hallowed library of some ancient university. I would study all the subjects I wanted to study. I would drink coffee and listen to Tchaikovsky. I would practice wit and become utterly immersed in many topics. I would be an old soul.

Or

I would be off in some remote part of the world. I would travel and explore. I would go hang gliding and cliff diving. I would try exotic foods and meet exotic people. I would be a reckless adventurer.

Here I sit, 17 years old. I am not a scholar; I am not an explorer. I am on the brink of adulthood and the precipice of childhood. I can become an old soul or a reckless adventurer or a combination of both. I think the most valuable lessons will come through the "becoming." Life is about becoming; it is about growing and learning and changing. Life is about making mistakes and admitting you made them. Life is about people, good people and bad people and the effects they have on you and you have on them. Life is about sunsets and laughter and silly jokes and deep discussions and experiencing what can be experienced. And perhaps, just perhaps, life involves a little faith rather than a lot of skepticism. Perhaps a part of growing up is doubting everything that you were ever told was true, and eventually coming to terms with the fact that neither you nor all the scientists in the world can explain everything. Perhaps life is about discovering and connecting with God. And perhaps I haven't reached that point yet.

I digress; I am avoiding the question.

 How Old Would You be if You Didn't Know How Old You Were?

My answer? 

Any age I wanted to be.